| fifth day... a few hours left. mental torture... looking for truth, it's a rough path. i miss people, i'm nearly in too much discomfort to come to God and listen... where will my life go from here? oh i wish i knew!
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| my fingers talking, i nearly forgot they could.
hopefully moving out five days a week when school starts.
art and strength: they seem to bring a life into my.... life.
me and God, we're doing pretty well. i missed church but i made christian choices and people at work notice that i'm a weird. they kinda think i don't like girls... i try to tell them that i just wouldn't cheat on my girl and that there's NO WAY i'd "bang" in my unmarried state. lol, yea, me against the world, i guess you could call it a One Girl One Boy Revolution.
well peeps, peace!
ps for anyone reading this, you get to know that i'm going to hopefully talk to Emily's dad about something important sometime in the next week. (am i like not supposed to tell people about that?... well it's my first time so i'm just playing it by ear... and heart (aww, now ain't that sweet!))
peace and loooove, peoples!
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| i just wrote a rap song... then got rid of it cuz you guys wouldn't
understand there's much more then skin to this man. it was about sin
and the longin therein i know it's wrong but still i give in. over and
over again and again. i get use to it, tell myself it's useless, just
saying screw it and do it, there's nothing to it. it didn't hurt last
time, it won't hurt again, just like that, i let the sin win.
i'm on the edge of something big, i can feel it in my bones. i think
real deep then i just kinda zone. i think no one hears me, i
subconsciously moan. i'm sitting high on the self pleasing throne and
everything i do has a selfish tone. i know what's right, i long to
fight, i know i'm rappin even though i'm white. hear me out, don't
make me shout, come on and listen what i'm talkin about! it's an up
hill climb all the way home and sometimes it feels better to roam in no mans zone. with no where to go, it's hard to not get
there. just like with no rule, sure hard not to play fair. i know
there's a right and the wrong is so clear. but right's far away and
i'm right here. i said i'd never give up but this sin is hard to lift
up, easier to whip up a quick excuse. my mind's all ripped up, broken
glass tipped up, easier to give up then try and get loose. Father save
me? i'v prayed that before, so many times, i don't want to no more.
anyone would give up on me, why wouldn't he? it's easy to see that i'm
no more then a flee on the back of society. i know He'll forgive but i gotta be sorry first, i feel there's no hope, i feel i'm the worst. if it's hard to be sorry, is my heart hardening? my life in the future, which way will i go? when tempted with bad will i say yes or say no? i'm tired of talking, i'm getting no where, kinda like braiding while having no hair.or punching real hard, beating the air or going to church in my underwear and waking up to relieve the scare.
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| her name is jenny and she may just be the prettiest little girl who ever lived.
h
a
v
e
U
ever
seenForestGump
?i just watched it
Her Name Is Jenny
anotherGoodMovie is JUNO! a must see for those who are willing to watch a movie about a pregnant teen.
man... i wish i was young again... to sit on a low limb of a huge tree, look over the misty grass early in the morning with my best friend, and be in that childlike awe of the beauty before me... if i stumble on marvolus beauty these days, it might hit me as only a nice thing if i had a camera..... i wish it still took my breath away... can my mind go back to the pure unadulterated love of beauty in its freest and most awesome way? i'm not sure, i can only hope.
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